If the parents of a newborn child are in doubt about who they should use as a “sandak” for the baby, should they only reserve this honor for one of the grandparents? Or, should the parents only seek a holy tzaddik to be the sandak, since a tzaddik can have a positive spiritual effect on the baby and enable the child to grow up pure and holy?
Answer:When the parents of a newborn baby use a holy tzaddik as a sandak for the baby, this can only be of good influence on the child if doing so will not cause pain to any of the grandparents that they weren’t given the honor. If any of the grandparents are pained over the fact that they weren’t given the honor of being sandak, then the entire segulah of using a tzaddik as a sandak will be ineffective – for any blessing cannot take effect if it will somehow cause pain to any of the [grand]parents. Even if the [grand]parent is not upset, and he is merely unhappy about the fact that he wasn’t given the honor of sandak, it will be considered a holy and pure intention of the parent of the baby to give the honor of sandak to a grandparent, and this itself will have a positive spiritual effect on the baby - which is exactly what the parents of the baby are aspiring for.