I have a question about hisbodedus (meditation). I am the type that loves to be alone. That’s how I grew up. I don’t have any social issues. My problem is that I’m a housewife, a mother of children, and I have to feed my mother who is ill, who lives with us. As a result, I basically do not have any time to be alone with myself. I have no quiet, no time for my own privacy, because I always have to be either listening to or talking back to someone. People surround me from morning until night, and I feel that I have no menuchas hanefesh (serenity) at all, because I have no time to be alone. It seems that I cannot every do hisbodedus, due to this technical reason. Is there any inner work I can do which can help me actualize my need for menuchas hanefesh?
1) It is certainly possible to find time to be alone, even if only a little.
2) Learn how to enter within your soul, so that even when you are around others, you can still be “alone”. This is written about by sefer Chovos HaLevovos. But in order to do this, you need “alone” time.