QUESTION:
1) What is the source of a person’s wishes and wants (retzonos) and why is it that a person lacks a ratzon?
ANSWER:
The root of all our wishes comes either from our nefesh habehaimis (animal soul) or nefesh Elokis (G-dly soul), either from our yetzer hora or our yetzer tov. When a person lacks a will (ratzon), it comes from a dominance of the element of earth in his soul. His earth gets too heavy and slows down the movements of his soul, which are his wishes and wants, weakening his faculty of ratzon, sometimes even to the point where he despairs.
QUESTION
2) Why would a person not care about himself? Why is it that only when a person can’t take anymore suffering that he starts to wake up to take care of himself? Why would a person be unwilling to change even when he knows that he’s not going in a good direction, and only when he’s at ‘rock-bottom’ does he wake up? Are we able to daven for a person to change? If a person doesn’t pity himself then is it true that Hashem doesn’t pity him either? How do we get a person to pity himself and be responsible for himself? And if Hashem isn’t giving him the will to change then how does a person make any effort and utilize his free will? Even if a person isn’t trying to make progress, is that all from Heaven since Hashem is in charge of everything?
ANSWER
Usually this happens when a person went through difficulties in his past, which caused his will to weaken. Tefillah can always help, but a person also has to do some work. Hashem gives a person “bechirah (free will) which depends on His will” – as it were, a person can either choose to act according to Hashem’s will, or chas v’shalom he may choose to do the opposite of Hashem’s will. Bechirah (free will) is in a person’s hands, and one may not blame his choices on Hashem.
QUESTION
3) What can we do for a person who doesn’t have the energy to change but really he does want to change, he just doesn’t know how exactly he needs to change since he’s having an internal conflict and he doesn’t have that much motivation and he can’t be consistent? Are we allowed or not allowed to daven to Hashem to change him?
ANSWER
Daven for Hashem to help him. The person himself needs to take one small, easy point to work on. That is how he will progress, slowly but in a stable manner. I want to emphasize that the person needs to take a small, easy point to work on, and he will need to do it consistently.
QUESTION
2) Why would a person not care about himself? Why is it that only when a person can’t take anymore suffering that he starts to wake up to take care of himself? Why would a person be unwilling to change even when he knows that he’s not going in a good direction, and only when he’s at ‘rock-bottom’ does he wake up? Are we able to daven for a person to change? If a person doesn’t pity himself then is it true that Hashem doesn’t pity him either? How do we get a person to pity himself and be responsible for himself? And if Hashem isn’t giving him the will to change then how does a person make any effort and utilize his free will? Even if a person isn’t trying to make progress, is that all from Heaven since Hashem is in charge of everything?
ANSWER
Usually this happens when a person went through difficulties in his past, which caused his will to weaken. Tefillah can always help, but a person also has to do some work. Hashem gives a person “bechirah (free will) which depends on His will” – as it were, a person can either choose to act according to Hashem’s will, or chas v’shalom he may choose to do the opposite of Hashem’s will. Bechirah (free will) is in a person’s hands, and one may not blame his choices on Hashem.
QUESTION
3) What can we do for a person who doesn’t have the energy to change but really he does want to change, he just doesn’t know how exactly he needs to change since he’s having an internal conflict and he doesn’t have that much motivation and he can’t be consistent? Are we allowed or not allowed to daven to Hashem to change him?
ANSWER
Daven for Hashem to help him. The person himself needs to take one small, easy point to work on. That is how he will progress, slowly but in a stable manner. I want to emphasize that the person needs to take a small, easy point to work on, and he will need to do it consistently.
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