POOR LISTENING SKILLS [#17221]

I have a problem that I often forget to do things. My wife asks me to do something important and then I forget to do it. Usually it’s because I push things off because I have other things on my mind, and then I forget to do it. But I also forget what she just told me in middle of a conversation. Often I forget that she told me something and later she reminds me that she told me, and then when I tell her that I forgot she said it to me, she gets insulted and tells me that I don’t listen to her when she talks. The truth is that sometimes I really do not hear her talking to me even as she’s talking to me. And sometimes I heard what she said but I forget it. I realized that sometimes this happens because I have a strong imagination, and I’m usually lost in my imaginative thoughts. At other times, it’s because I am self-absorbed. I might be consumed by a certain thought, feeling, or fantasy, or a memory from the past, that I’m having. I’m always having mental conversations in my head all day with myself, and I suspect that this may be the main reason why I’m not hearing my wife’s words to me. But that won’t solve the problem of me forgetting what I heard. What I want to know is: (1) What causes a person to have poor listening? Does it come from heavy imagination, does it come from being self-absorbed, or from some other cause? (2) Why do I constantly forget things? (3) If poor listening and constant forgetting are two interconnected issues, or are they two different issues? Is the issue being caused by self-absorption which is really impaired wind-of-fire-of-wind (as the Rav explains in Fixing Your Wind.015.Self-Absorption) and is that what’s causing me to constantly forget what I hear?

(1) The poor listening skills are merely a result of something else. It is coming from being self-absorbed, which is the root of the issue here. In particular, you are too absorbed in your feelings, which then brings you into your imagination [and then you don’t hear conversations]. (2) Constant forgetting comes from a “heaviness” in the soul [which is being brought on by the self-absorption]. (3) Yes, the self-absorption is coming out in the form of heaviness in the soul. However, it is not coming here from wind-of-fire-of-wind. The “heaviness” in the soul (which is causing the forgetting) is coming from being absorbed in your feelings, and this is “earth-of-wind”.