GAINING SELF-CONTROL & RESPONSIBILITY [#17236]

1) Since a person has two different sources of desires, which come from either the nefesh habehaimis (lower soul) or nefesh Elokis (higher soul), how does a person choose which kinds of desires he wants to have (choosing between desiring the wishes of the nefesh habehaimis versus the wishes of the nefesh Elokis)? Also, how can a person be in control of a desire? And how can person produce a good desire?

A person is able to control his ratzon (will) through overcoming his will, by either (a) Doing the opposite of what he wants, or (b) Letting his mind gain control over his emotions. Producing a positive, good will is through purifying the body and thereby revealing the soul’s will. Alternatively, it can happen through doing something good which produces an awakening or inspiration in the person, i.e. by listening to someone wise who awakens and inspires him.

QUESTION
2) If Hashem created me as an irresponsible kind of person and I live by default almost in the same way that an animal lives it life following all of its urges and instincts – in areas that people are normally careful in and take care of themselves in – what will empower me to live at a higher level than this and to want and understand the importance of actually doing things right?
ANSWER
Every person is born with the capability of being responsible, and he is not like an animal. Reveal even the smallest good desire in you the you consciously recognize, and enlarge it, through either contemplating it, verbalizing it, or acting on it. A person needs a will in the first place to want something good – the desire to want something good – and the fact that you are asking about this shows that you do have the will to want it!
QUESTION
3) What is an example of a small thing that a person can do, to reveal a good kind of ratzon/will?
ANSWER
Say a kind word to someone. Even the smallest good thing that you do, can awaken your good ratzon.