Question:
How can we know if we are really improving and keeping to our resolutions to better ourselves that we made on Rosh HaShanah – maybe we are just imagining our growth? What is the real way to make our resolutions last for the rest of the year?Answer:
It is a very good question. Usually, our resolutions do not last for long. This is the reality that happens with most people; we see this in ourselves and in others. The Ramban says (based on the possuk אם תעיררו ואם תתעוררו עד שתחפץthat hisorerus (inspiration) needs to be put into a cheifetz, a “lasting desire”. How do you make your inspiration last? The Ramchal says (in sefer Derech Eretz Chaim) that there is an easy piece of advice that bears great results: Every day, set aside an hour of your time and empty out all previous thoughts, and concentrate on the following: “What did the Avos do? What did Dovid HaMelech so?” Do nothing during this time of solitude, and just think about why you came onto the world. If you can’t do it for an hour, do it for 30 minutes, and if you can’t do 30 minutes, do it for 15 minutes. But it must be a set time in your schedule that you do every day. Don’t go to sleep before you have reflected that day (for at least 15 minutes): “For what purpose do I live?” Accept upon yourself that you will do this every day.
If you want this resolution to last, accept yon yourself that if you miss it for a day, you will give 5000 dollars to tzedakah! (If 5000 dollars doesn’t make you feel obligated, then it should be 10,000 dollars! Or 100,000 dollars! The penalty you place upon yourself has be to an amount that will bother you if you have to pay it, which will make you feel obligated to keep your resolution. In order for your resolution for this quiet reflection time every day to last, you need to accept yourself a penalty of a high amount of money, which makes you feel obligated to do it. Without accepting upon yourself a penalty, it’s unlikely that you’ll keep to the resolution, because you’ll be tired sometimes and you won’t feel like doing it. Therefore you should accept upon yourself to put 10 dollars (for example) in the pushka if you don’t do the 15-minute avodah; that will make you feel obligated.
I want you to understand that this is not advice just for you who are here. It is advice that I say to everyone, and those who accepted it upon themselves saw success. Because when you’re scared of having to donate a large amount of money, it is an incentive that helps you make sure to fulfill it every day.
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