Question:
It’s hard for me to open up a Gemara, because it doesn’t get me to feel close to Hashem. So how can I practically spend my time on learning Gemara? It is similar to the previous question, that people don’t feel a bond with Hashem when they learn Gemara.Answer:
The sefarim bring a question: Who do you like more, your father or your mother? Hashem and the Torah are like our father and our mother, and to decide which of them we love more is like choosing if we love our father more or our mother more.
If someone feels like he’s not enjoying his learning, I will tell you the following story. There were two people I met last week. One person came to me and told me that he had to leave Kolel in order to go to work. He told me, “I had no choice.” I said to him, “Maybe it’s true that you had no choice and you needed to go to work. But did you at least cry on the day you left behind the Gemara?”
I met another person here whom I hadn’t seen in about 10 years. I said to him, “Nu, what’s with you?” He said to me, “Baruch Hashem, I know Shas.” As I conversed with him, he mentioned to me that he’s thinking about a certain business he is pursuing. I said to him, “If you know Shas, how can it be that you’re thinking of going into business?!” He told me, “I learned all my years only for the sake of kavod (honor).”
If a person doesn’t feel enjoyment in learning, did he ever cry about that, that he doesn’t have feelings of enjoyment in his learning? The Gemara says that if a student didn’t see success after 5 years of learning, it is sign that he’s not seeing blessing in his learning. Did you try for 5 years to learn before you decided that you aren’t enjoying learning?
Compare this to a person who loses his appetite for food, so he decides not to eat anymore. Should he stop eating just because he doesn’t have an appetite…?
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