Question:
How can I deal with inappropriate things which we encounter in life? To my chagrin, sometimes there are people who seek my advice and they are involved in various kinds of inappropriate behavior, to the extent that I feel like I need to immerse in a mikveh afterwards…. I don’t know how to deal with the evil that I witness in life. I am constantly trying to focus on the positive, and on spiritual aspirations, [but] these things have brought me down [spiritually].Answer:
1) In every aspect of evil you encounter, try to find the good in it.
2) View evil as a “garment”. [Editor’s Note: Refer to Da Es Atzmecha, Getting To Know Your Self].
3) Don’t let it affect your soul so deeply - and this is a matter which requires guidance. Generally speaking, you should listen to another person with your intellect, then with your heart [emotional empathetic listening], in a cycle, back and forth.
4) You need to believe that Hashem wants evil to exist [for the time being].
5) Accept your suffering you have at this fact, with love.
6) After this, enter into the good, positive aspects of the [other’s] soul.
7) See the inner purity that is in that person, and be aware that his evil is only a “garment” on his soul.
8) Pray that evil should cease, and believe that it is only temporary.
9) Ideally, do not listen [to this other person] - only to the extent that you feel you can tolerate. There have been great people in the world who fell spiritually, because of this.
10) Listen to him from a true desire to do good with him, for the sake of Heaven. The more that the listener’s intentions are not for the sake of Heaven (for example, the more that the listener’s intentions are about making money from his client], the more of a risk of spiritual danger there is.
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