QUESTION:
I was thinking recently about all the different instances in my life I can remember in which I did not treat others right. Who knows how many people’s feelings I hurt! I can remember some instances in which I intentionally slighted another person, but there were many instances where I may have unintentionally hurt their feelings or mistreated them… Tons of chavrusas that I didn’t show enough respect to…. Acting like a baal gaavah (boosting my ego at the expense of others) and not being machshiv my friends enough, always thinking that I was smarter and better than them…. Walking around with a sour face and hurting everyone who saw me by not smiling at them and greeting them the way I should have…. And the list goes on and on. I feel like making a list of each person I think I may have hurt and then calling them up to ask them for mechilah. Is that what I am supposed to do?
ANSWER:
There’s no end to this. None of us are perfect. And many times, the one who got insulted was the one who brought about the insult upon him. Therefore, as long one didn’t openly insult someone and there wasn’t recognizable ‘damage’ afterwards, you don’t have to go looking for the one you may have insulted. Instead, when you bump into him, ask him for mechilah. Always daven that you shouldn’t insult others, and daven that whoever you insulted should forgive you with their full heart.
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