QUESTION:
1) Is it good [for a high-school age bochur] to learn sefer Yesod V’Shoresh H’Avodah?
ANSWER:
It would be worthwhile to learn it once a week, like on Shabbos Kodesh.
QUESTION
3) I usually feel negative emotions, and barely any positive emotions. And even when I feel positive emotions, they don’t feel intense, unlike my negative emotions which feel much more intense and which I can easily identify what negative emotions it is. When I experience a negative emotion, it lingers on with me all the time and I keep getting bothered from it. How can I let my positive emotions become just as powerful as my negative emotions?
ANSWER
It would be worth it to jot down on a piece of paper a bit of all of the different kinds of positive emotions that you have experienced and which you recognize, and every so often, read it and connect yourself a bit to the positive emotions you are reading about.
QUESTION
4) What should a person think about when preparing for (a) davening (b) learning?
ANSWER
(a) Preparing For Davening: Quiet everything down. Recognize whom you are about to talk to, and what the purpose of davening is [to form a relationship with Hashem]. (b) Preparing For Learning: Try to forget about everything on your mind – as if there is no world. Attach yourself to learning Torah with pleasantness and serenity, coupled with exertion in your learning.
QUESTION
5) How much time should be spent on preparing for davening and for learning?
ANSWER
A few minutes.
QUESTION
6) What is it better to do, to prepare for davening or to say Korbonos?
ANSWER
For now, suffice with just preparing a few minutes before davening.
QUESTION
7) How do I clarify what my shoresh neshamah and main avodah in life is? I think that my main avodah in life is to give a nachas ruach to Hashem, but maybe there’s more to my avodah that I’m not aware of.
ANSWER
It is a long process of self-awareness. For now, don’t do more than this clarification. You’re going in the right direction.
QUESTION
8) How can a person “always be naturally connected to his emotions” as the Rav has spoken about in one of the sefarim? And how can a person do this within the peer pressure while being in yeshiva?
ANSWER
Find a good point in yourself and connect to it. Even more important is to become connected to your strongest point. Whenever you find a good point in yourself, it is like a “spark”, in comparison to your strongest point, which is the “light” (a greater level than just a spark). There’s a big difference.
QUESTION
9) What does it mean to “relate to our feelings as a reality” as the Rav explains? If I’m sad and I know that I have to be happy, like on Shabbos and Yom Tov, and other areas of avodas Hashem which requires me to be happy – how can I be happy if I’m supposed to be aware of my feeling of sadness and consider it to be a reality and not just a feeling? Also, how can a person be truly happy when he’s so connected to his emotions and he is acutely aware of his negative feelings, considering also that life is full of difficulties and challenges and things that bother us?
ANSWER
Refer to the previous answer. The main thing is to become connected to your strongest point, and to also be immersed in the depth of learning Torah and palpable closeness to Hashem, according to your current level.
QUESTION
10) When a person is bothered about something, should he throw himself into learning Torah because “If not for Your Torah which is my delight?” Isn’t that just escaping reality?
ANSWER
It is certainly an escape, but part of the process of growing and reaching self-completion on this world is to know where to escape to when we feel trouble. We need to run away to our root. This is not like escaping to some far-off place that isn’t befitting for us. It’s an escape of running back to where our true share is, to our root. Sometimes a person even needs to escape to something external that will calm him a bit. Every case will be different. Not always can a person deal with the issue he’s facing, and sometimes he needs to simply escape from where he is. Moshe Rabbeinu first escaped to Midian and then he was able to go back to Egypt to “deal” with Pharoah.
QUESTION
11) What should I do if talking privately to Hashem in middle of Shemoneh Esrei (by Shomeia Tefillah and by Elokai Nitzor) causes me to lose hearing Kedushah and Chazaras HaShatz?
ANSWER
Continue as you are doing.
QUESTION
12) I usually get up early before davening and I have enough to organize myself before davening, but I feel pressured. But when I get up a bit later and it’s almost time for davening Shacharis, I get read quickly and I don’t feel as pressured. Which option is better?
ANSWER
Try to get up at an ‘in-between’ time [where you’re not too early but not too close to davening, so you have enough time to prepare and you’re not pressured].
QUESTION
13) What is the way to make the most of my time?
ANSWER
Utilize every moment properly but without thinking too much if you are using all of your time correctly or not.
QUESTION
14) The Rav has said that a person should fill his empty void all the time with avodas Hashem. How can a person do this properly without becoming stressed?
ANSWER
See previous answer.
QUESTION
15) Whenever I do a good thing, like when I answer Amen loudly with all my concentration, immediately my yetzer hora tells me, “Look what a tzaddik you are!” How do I counter this yetzer hora of becoming so full of myself? Is it not feasible to work on not being a baal gaavah at such a young age ?
ANSWER
It would be good to be act a bit more discreet (tzanua).
QUESTION
16) When I do something good or I succeed at something, and I feel good about it, am I allowed to take in the pleasure of this good feeling about myself?
ANSWER
It is good to feel satisfied when you are successful. Otherwise, you will encounter the difficulty you mentioned in question 3.
QUESTION
17) Is it ever constructive to be nervous? What is good nervousness and bad nervousness? And how do I deal with bad nervousness?
ANSWER
When you sense that you can be in control of your nervousness, then your nervousness is constructive. When you sense that your nervousness is controlling you, that is how you know it’s not constructive.
QUESTION
18) What should I do when I see or hear bochurim around me who are behaving or talking in a way that’s not proper for a yeshiva bochur? How should I react to it and should I say something to them? And if I do no need to say something to others, what is the way to do it?
ANSWER
Immerse yourself in your internal world [olam pnimi] and ignore what goes on around you.
QUESTION
19) In yeshiva I feel like I don’t have that much chiyus. In my house I can learn alone and I get a lot of chiyus from this. I feel like I’m serving Hashem there and I feel very connected to myself when I’m alone in my house. I can also daven at a minyan nearby my house that I love to daven in. At home I can learn what I love to learn. I don’t encounter loud emotions such as immense enjoyment or getting insulted from others, when I’m alone at home. I can feel a lot closer to Hashem when I’m at home with myself. I also have more time to talk to Hashem. In yeshivah, I can barely do any of the above. I also feel that my entire day in yeshivah is one long conundrum for 2 weeks straight until I go home for my off Shabbos. It’s long and draining for me. What does Hashem want from me?
ANSWER
Every so often [when you’re in yeshiva], take a break. For example, in the afternoon, go to a quiet place.
QUESTION
20) Is it better to learn alone because “A person who learns discreetly gets wiser”? Or is it better to learn in a Beis Midrash with others because then others see me learning and they can get more inspired to learn better? And what about a case where others aren’t particularly inspired by seeing me learning, or if I’m just writing my notes or chiddushim and I’m not learning out loud, and I enjoy learning in this way – do I still need to be learning in the beis midrash around others or can I learn in privacy?
ANSWER
A person has to give maaser (a tenth) of his ruchniyus, by giving a 10th of his time of learning to learn in the beis midrash so that he benefits others who will see him learning. The rest of your time can be spent as you see fit, according to what your soul needs.
QUESTION
21) I’m embarrassed to admit that I had a laptop for several years – with Internet connection on it. I left it by a relative of mine who uses it for Torah purposes, but I have no idea if he’s using the Internet on it or not. I know that my relative blocked the internet on it. My question is: Since I still own this laptop and it has Internet connection on it, am I doing something wrong by letting it remain with my relative? Do I need to convince my relative to disconnect the Internet from it? (I think he needs the Internet connection on it to send e-mails). Or should I sell my laptop that’s in his possession, and then disconnect the Internet on it or at least put a filter on it so that the next buyer won’t have Internet connection on it?
ANSWER
Sell it, after you have the internet disconnected from it!
QUESTION
3) I usually feel negative emotions, and barely any positive emotions. And even when I feel positive emotions, they don’t feel intense, unlike my negative emotions which feel much more intense and which I can easily identify what negative emotions it is. When I experience a negative emotion, it lingers on with me all the time and I keep getting bothered from it. How can I let my positive emotions become just as powerful as my negative emotions?
ANSWER
It would be worth it to jot down on a piece of paper a bit of all of the different kinds of positive emotions that you have experienced and which you recognize, and every so often, read it and connect yourself a bit to the positive emotions you are reading about.
QUESTION
4) What should a person think about when preparing for (a) davening (b) learning?
ANSWER
(a) Preparing For Davening: Quiet everything down. Recognize whom you are about to talk to, and what the purpose of davening is [to form a relationship with Hashem]. (b) Preparing For Learning: Try to forget about everything on your mind – as if there is no world. Attach yourself to learning Torah with pleasantness and serenity, coupled with exertion in your learning.
QUESTION
5) How much time should be spent on preparing for davening and for learning?
ANSWER
A few minutes.
QUESTION
6) What is it better to do, to prepare for davening or to say Korbonos?
ANSWER
For now, suffice with just preparing a few minutes before davening.
QUESTION
7) How do I clarify what my shoresh neshamah and main avodah in life is? I think that my main avodah in life is to give a nachas ruach to Hashem, but maybe there’s more to my avodah that I’m not aware of.
ANSWER
It is a long process of self-awareness. For now, don’t do more than this clarification. You’re going in the right direction.
QUESTION
8) How can a person “always be naturally connected to his emotions” as the Rav has spoken about in one of the sefarim? And how can a person do this within the peer pressure while being in yeshiva?
ANSWER
Find a good point in yourself and connect to it. Even more important is to become connected to your strongest point. Whenever you find a good point in yourself, it is like a “spark”, in comparison to your strongest point, which is the “light” (a greater level than just a spark). There’s a big difference.
QUESTION
9) What does it mean to “relate to our feelings as a reality” as the Rav explains? If I’m sad and I know that I have to be happy, like on Shabbos and Yom Tov, and other areas of avodas Hashem which requires me to be happy – how can I be happy if I’m supposed to be aware of my feeling of sadness and consider it to be a reality and not just a feeling? Also, how can a person be truly happy when he’s so connected to his emotions and he is acutely aware of his negative feelings, considering also that life is full of difficulties and challenges and things that bother us?
ANSWER
Refer to the previous answer. The main thing is to become connected to your strongest point, and to also be immersed in the depth of learning Torah and palpable closeness to Hashem, according to your current level.
QUESTION
10) When a person is bothered about something, should he throw himself into learning Torah because “If not for Your Torah which is my delight?” Isn’t that just escaping reality?
ANSWER
It is certainly an escape, but part of the process of growing and reaching self-completion on this world is to know where to escape to when we feel trouble. We need to run away to our root. This is not like escaping to some far-off place that isn’t befitting for us. It’s an escape of running back to where our true share is, to our root. Sometimes a person even needs to escape to something external that will calm him a bit. Every case will be different. Not always can a person deal with the issue he’s facing, and sometimes he needs to simply escape from where he is. Moshe Rabbeinu first escaped to Midian and then he was able to go back to Egypt to “deal” with Pharoah.
QUESTION
11) What should I do if talking privately to Hashem in middle of Shemoneh Esrei (by Shomeia Tefillah and by Elokai Nitzor) causes me to lose hearing Kedushah and Chazaras HaShatz?
ANSWER
Continue as you are doing.
QUESTION
12) I usually get up early before davening and I have enough to organize myself before davening, but I feel pressured. But when I get up a bit later and it’s almost time for davening Shacharis, I get read quickly and I don’t feel as pressured. Which option is better?
ANSWER
Try to get up at an ‘in-between’ time [where you’re not too early but not too close to davening, so you have enough time to prepare and you’re not pressured].
QUESTION
13) What is the way to make the most of my time?
ANSWER
Utilize every moment properly but without thinking too much if you are using all of your time correctly or not.
QUESTION
14) The Rav has said that a person should fill his empty void all the time with avodas Hashem. How can a person do this properly without becoming stressed?
ANSWER
See previous answer.
QUESTION
15) Whenever I do a good thing, like when I answer Amen loudly with all my concentration, immediately my yetzer hora tells me, “Look what a tzaddik you are!” How do I counter this yetzer hora of becoming so full of myself? Is it not feasible to work on not being a baal gaavah at such a young age ?
ANSWER
It would be good to be act a bit more discreet (tzanua).
QUESTION
16) When I do something good or I succeed at something, and I feel good about it, am I allowed to take in the pleasure of this good feeling about myself?
ANSWER
It is good to feel satisfied when you are successful. Otherwise, you will encounter the difficulty you mentioned in question 3.
QUESTION
17) Is it ever constructive to be nervous? What is good nervousness and bad nervousness? And how do I deal with bad nervousness?
ANSWER
When you sense that you can be in control of your nervousness, then your nervousness is constructive. When you sense that your nervousness is controlling you, that is how you know it’s not constructive.
QUESTION
18) What should I do when I see or hear bochurim around me who are behaving or talking in a way that’s not proper for a yeshiva bochur? How should I react to it and should I say something to them? And if I do no need to say something to others, what is the way to do it?
ANSWER
Immerse yourself in your internal world [olam pnimi] and ignore what goes on around you.
QUESTION
19) In yeshiva I feel like I don’t have that much chiyus. In my house I can learn alone and I get a lot of chiyus from this. I feel like I’m serving Hashem there and I feel very connected to myself when I’m alone in my house. I can also daven at a minyan nearby my house that I love to daven in. At home I can learn what I love to learn. I don’t encounter loud emotions such as immense enjoyment or getting insulted from others, when I’m alone at home. I can feel a lot closer to Hashem when I’m at home with myself. I also have more time to talk to Hashem. In yeshivah, I can barely do any of the above. I also feel that my entire day in yeshivah is one long conundrum for 2 weeks straight until I go home for my off Shabbos. It’s long and draining for me. What does Hashem want from me?
ANSWER
Every so often [when you’re in yeshiva], take a break. For example, in the afternoon, go to a quiet place.
QUESTION
20) Is it better to learn alone because “A person who learns discreetly gets wiser”? Or is it better to learn in a Beis Midrash with others because then others see me learning and they can get more inspired to learn better? And what about a case where others aren’t particularly inspired by seeing me learning, or if I’m just writing my notes or chiddushim and I’m not learning out loud, and I enjoy learning in this way – do I still need to be learning in the beis midrash around others or can I learn in privacy?
ANSWER
A person has to give maaser (a tenth) of his ruchniyus, by giving a 10th of his time of learning to learn in the beis midrash so that he benefits others who will see him learning. The rest of your time can be spent as you see fit, according to what your soul needs.
QUESTION
21) I’m embarrassed to admit that I had a laptop for several years – with Internet connection on it. I left it by a relative of mine who uses it for Torah purposes, but I have no idea if he’s using the Internet on it or not. I know that my relative blocked the internet on it. My question is: Since I still own this laptop and it has Internet connection on it, am I doing something wrong by letting it remain with my relative? Do I need to convince my relative to disconnect the Internet from it? (I think he needs the Internet connection on it to send e-mails). Or should I sell my laptop that’s in his possession, and then disconnect the Internet on it or at least put a filter on it so that the next buyer won’t have Internet connection on it?
ANSWER
Sell it, after you have the internet disconnected from it!
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