QUESTION:
Is there any spiritual guidance for women before childbirth, which can provide chizuk (inspiration) as a way to prepare for birth?
ANSWER:
1. Introduction: There are several factors contained in this particular period of life, which are appropriate to understand.
Let’s open this discussion with the topic of emunah (faith in G-d). A person is created with a natural belief of feeling that it is he or she he does everything, and that it is one’s own actions which conduct his or her life. But the purpose of our life is to come to the deep recognition that this is not the truth, and that it is Hashem Who created everything and conducts it all. Through the inner self-work of constantly instilling emunah in ourselves throughout our life, internalizing our emunah deeper and deeper into ourselves, we can arrive at this recognition. When we come to that recognition, it is the revelation of the spiritual light of our neshamah (Divine soul) which naturally and completely believes in the Creator.
The more that a person matures and goes through all kinds of experiences in life, he slowly begins to understand that everything that happens on this world depends on Hashem Who is running it, and not on people (that is, if he is a believing Jew), and that everything which happens is all but a result of the kindness of the Creator, to help us come closer to our most desired goal: to reach complete, perfected emunah, in Hashem. When a person goes through certain critical periods in life, his soul may experience these events to the point that he is left with an indelible impression on his soul (in varying degrees) from it, to the point that it is very difficult for him to free himself from the impression that has been made on his soul, even after many years have passed since the experience. This is all because going through an experience can leave a powerful effect on one’s soul. So when a person goes through a certain experience and he consciously summons forth the awareness that it is only Hashem Who is conducting his life, this has the power to elevate the experience and leave an imprint of emunah (faith in G-d) on the consciousness of one’s soul.
However, one needs to understand clearly that emunah learned from experience alone (even for a Jew who is generally regarded to be “very believing”) - without conscious awareness to acquire emunah from the experience - does not even compare to the level of emunah that one can acquire from being consciously aware beforehand of the emunah that can be acquired from the experience. For when one is consciously trying to acquire more emunah through his experiences, one becomes a stronger “receptacle” to acquire emunah through the experience, and the emunah can settle better in one’s heart.
….There is clearly inner meaning that one can experience through childbirth. It is the understanding that a person is totally in the hands of the Creator, as opposed to anything or anyone else. The more that a person connects to this understanding, the more that the experience of childbirth will leave an indelible impression of emunah (faith in G-d) upon one’s soul. Here are some practical suggestions on how to do this.
When any event happens to you throughout the day, especially if it was childbirth-related, even if it was something minor, you should pause for a few seconds [if not physically, then at least mentally in your thoughts] and think about this simple thought: רבות מחשבות בלב איש ועצת ה' היא תקום, “There are many thoughts in the heart of man, but it is the advice of Hashem which lasts”. I want a certain thing, but Hashem wills otherwise. It is His will which establishes the reality.”
It is also proper to add on a short prayer, such as “Help me, Hashem, that I should truly feel this in my heart.” This is what you should do, at least once a day (and if you can do it more times a day, that is certainly even more effective).
Additionally, you should reflect during a time of quiet, and think about different instances where you wanted a certain thing and in the end it didn’t materialize. You should pick a matter which speaks to you, so that you can review it several times throughout the day, amidst your everyday chores. You can pick a verse, such as הנני בידך לבד, “We are in Your hands, alone”, and review it often. Verbally repetition of the same verse can powerfully impress it upon the heart.
If you find that you feel very connected in your soul to this kind of practice, it can be very helpful to you during the actual time of the birth. When you keep reviewing verbally that you are entirely “in Your [Hashem’s] hands, alone” throughout the entire process of labor and childbirth, this can ease your pain throughout the pregnancy and labor.
After you have given birth, you can reflect, amidst relaxation and quiet, about what you have experienced so far, from an elevated place, of recognizing the truth, that all creations are entirely in the hands of HaKadosh Baruch Hu alone, and that it is only Hashem in His kindnesses Who brings us closer to this recognition, through the various situations that we go through in life.
Alternatively, you can think thoughts of love for Hashem for all of His great goodness that He has done for you, and for this especially [the birth of a baby]. Pregnancy is a state which opens you to an entire world (dimension) of love for the fetus growing inside you, and when you awaken in yourself a love for Hashem for all the good that He does, this opens you to a new world (dimension) of love for Hashem. Make sure to seize this opportunity [which is especially available during pregnancy] and to acquire this attitude.
Alternatively, you can reflect about the renewal you are having through becoming a parent, and this awakens the soul’s power of renewal. Childbirth is a degree of renewal, and when you connect to the power of renewal through childbirth, you are accessing an important detail that is part of a greater whole – the universal renewal of the Creation.
Let’s open this discussion with the topic of emunah (faith in G-d). A person is created with a natural belief of feeling that it is he or she he does everything, and that it is one’s own actions which conduct his or her life. But the purpose of our life is to come to the deep recognition that this is not the truth, and that it is Hashem Who created everything and conducts it all. Through the inner self-work of constantly instilling emunah in ourselves throughout our life, internalizing our emunah deeper and deeper into ourselves, we can arrive at this recognition. When we come to that recognition, it is the revelation of the spiritual light of our neshamah (Divine soul) which naturally and completely believes in the Creator.
The more that a person matures and goes through all kinds of experiences in life, he slowly begins to understand that everything that happens on this world depends on Hashem Who is running it, and not on people (that is, if he is a believing Jew), and that everything which happens is all but a result of the kindness of the Creator, to help us come closer to our most desired goal: to reach complete, perfected emunah, in Hashem. When a person goes through certain critical periods in life, his soul may experience these events to the point that he is left with an indelible impression on his soul (in varying degrees) from it, to the point that it is very difficult for him to free himself from the impression that has been made on his soul, even after many years have passed since the experience. This is all because going through an experience can leave a powerful effect on one’s soul. So when a person goes through a certain experience and he consciously summons forth the awareness that it is only Hashem Who is conducting his life, this has the power to elevate the experience and leave an imprint of emunah (faith in G-d) on the consciousness of one’s soul.
However, one needs to understand clearly that emunah learned from experience alone (even for a Jew who is generally regarded to be “very believing”) - without conscious awareness to acquire emunah from the experience - does not even compare to the level of emunah that one can acquire from being consciously aware beforehand of the emunah that can be acquired from the experience. For when one is consciously trying to acquire more emunah through his experiences, one becomes a stronger “receptacle” to acquire emunah through the experience, and the emunah can settle better in one’s heart.
….There is clearly inner meaning that one can experience through childbirth. It is the understanding that a person is totally in the hands of the Creator, as opposed to anything or anyone else. The more that a person connects to this understanding, the more that the experience of childbirth will leave an indelible impression of emunah (faith in G-d) upon one’s soul. Here are some practical suggestions on how to do this.
When any event happens to you throughout the day, especially if it was childbirth-related, even if it was something minor, you should pause for a few seconds [if not physically, then at least mentally in your thoughts] and think about this simple thought: רבות מחשבות בלב איש ועצת ה' היא תקום, “There are many thoughts in the heart of man, but it is the advice of Hashem which lasts”. I want a certain thing, but Hashem wills otherwise. It is His will which establishes the reality.”
It is also proper to add on a short prayer, such as “Help me, Hashem, that I should truly feel this in my heart.” This is what you should do, at least once a day (and if you can do it more times a day, that is certainly even more effective).
Additionally, you should reflect during a time of quiet, and think about different instances where you wanted a certain thing and in the end it didn’t materialize. You should pick a matter which speaks to you, so that you can review it several times throughout the day, amidst your everyday chores. You can pick a verse, such as הנני בידך לבד, “We are in Your hands, alone”, and review it often. Verbally repetition of the same verse can powerfully impress it upon the heart.
If you find that you feel very connected in your soul to this kind of practice, it can be very helpful to you during the actual time of the birth. When you keep reviewing verbally that you are entirely “in Your [Hashem’s] hands, alone” throughout the entire process of labor and childbirth, this can ease your pain throughout the pregnancy and labor.
After you have given birth, you can reflect, amidst relaxation and quiet, about what you have experienced so far, from an elevated place, of recognizing the truth, that all creations are entirely in the hands of HaKadosh Baruch Hu alone, and that it is only Hashem in His kindnesses Who brings us closer to this recognition, through the various situations that we go through in life.
Alternatively, you can think thoughts of love for Hashem for all of His great goodness that He has done for you, and for this especially [the birth of a baby]. Pregnancy is a state which opens you to an entire world (dimension) of love for the fetus growing inside you, and when you awaken in yourself a love for Hashem for all the good that He does, this opens you to a new world (dimension) of love for Hashem. Make sure to seize this opportunity [which is especially available during pregnancy] and to acquire this attitude.
Alternatively, you can reflect about the renewal you are having through becoming a parent, and this awakens the soul’s power of renewal. Childbirth is a degree of renewal, and when you connect to the power of renewal through childbirth, you are accessing an important detail that is part of a greater whole – the universal renewal of the Creation.
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