FRIENDSHIP ISSUES [#17946]

1) The Rav advised that if someone is suffering because others don’t smile at him or greet him enough the way he would like, he should choose for himself 1 or 2 friends whom he can receive compliments and smiles from. But what about in a case where a person has a nature to become emotionally dependent on others in order to feel secure about himself, and he can very easily become a co-dependent on his friends, which will only cause him more pain and which will make his friends uncomfortable around him?

In such a case, he should slowly limit how much he seeks out warmth/compliments from others. He should seek his needs from others for one day, then the next day he should hold himself back from this, and then repeating this cycle.

QUESTION
2) Should he be open with his close friends and tell them that he has a nature to be dependent on others and that he really wants to overcome this issue, but in the meantime he needs friends and he needs a smile from others? Or is this not recommended?
ANSWER
This should only be confided with in one friend, and it would have to be someone who is very understanding and who also has a very good heart, and who is interested in the well-being of his friend and wants to help him. Otherwise, it will do more harm than benefit for him.
QUESTION
3) What should a person do if he feels a strong physical attraction towards his friend (and on the same gender in general) and he wants to overcome this issue, but he also needs a lot of warmth from others and he isn’t able to separate himself from the emotional need for friends, because he doesn’t want to live in a cold world, and he needs to be connected with others – in such a situation, should he choose 2 or 3 friends and speak to them about his issue, and ask them to fulfill his emotional needs (of giving him love, attention, warmth, etc.) even though he also struggles with strong feelings of male attraction?
ANSWER
If this will cause him to increase his lustful thoughts towards men, then “there is no advice and no understanding against Hashem”, and therefore his avodah is to separate from others.