HOW TO RELATE TO EVIL STILL ATTACHED TO ME [#18435]

January 11, 2022

QUESTION:

1) Do I need to take my mind off the feelings of independency from Hashem (cause-and-effect thinking, or the daas of Bilaam) and instead find expression to them in Torah, avodah, chessed and mitzvos?

ANSWER:

These thoughts are very very proper and you should continue to think them until they become simple awareness to you in mind and in feeling: The fact that evil is only a garment on and it is not your “I.”
QUESTION
2) Is this how I can “run” back to Hashem?
ANSWER
Yes, certainly. Because evil becomes attached to a person and makes it seems to the person as if the evil is the person himself. Evil becomes turned into a garment on the person which covers him over, and it takes lifelong work to continuously purify oneself from it.
QUESTION
3) Are we always experience a false I due to our self-absorption, and is our true I when we become integrated with Hashem, which is expressed when we do Hashem’s will?
ANSWER
Yes. “More light is gained from darkness” – from recognizing the false sense of self one is able to learn what his true self is, and then he can later discover that the true “I”, the true existence, is only Hashem, for there is truly no one but Him.
QUESTION
4) Is this an expression of the hidden light?
ANSWER
Yes, it is one of the ways.
QUESTION
5) Is the sense that this is the greatest pleasure (becoming integrated with Hashem), which eclipses all of the self-gratifying pleasures which we are pulled towards – is that something which is developed gradually with time, or can we feel it right away?
ANSWER
Usually it is a gradual process which requires one to slowly amass a lot of knowledge. However there are times when a person merits to get everything at once, as with those who acquire their World To Come in one hour – and this is either when it comes to a person as a sudden gift in the midst of all his avodah, or, though having mesirus nefesh.