QUESTION:
1) If 2 people learned Torah together and they felt close to each other (as with any chavrusa session that goes good) and later they parted ways – either they stopped learned and they don’t feel as close to each other anymore, or one of them is upset or jealous of the other – are they will connected together in their souls, on an unconscious level? Since they learned Torah together, are they eternally connected with each other in their souls, even if they don’t feel close anymore on this world? Or have they become “separated” from each other and they are no longer connected?
ANSWER:
There always remains an imprint of their connection, whether it is a lot or a little.
QUESTION
2) When do 2 chavrusos (Torah study partners) get to learn together in mesivta d’Rekia (the Heavenly yeshiva)?
ANSWER
If they are zocheh, two chavrusos learn together if they have the same shoresh neshamah (soul root). That is the case in “upper Gan Eden.” However, in “lower Gan Eden”, two chavrusos can learn together even if they were connected together only externally and more superficially on this world.
QUESTION
3) Does a person only have 1 chavrusa upstairs when he gets to the Heavenly yeshiva, or does he get more than 1 chavrusa?
ANSWER
More than one.
QUESTION
4) Is there a way to know which chavrusa I will learn with in Heaven? (And b’ezras Hashem, soon Mashiach will come and this question won’t be relevant!)
ANSWER
There is no way for a human being to know this.
QUESTION
5) Can there be two people whom Hashem doesn’t want them to friends with each other? For example just as we find that Yaakov Avinu didn’t like the friendship between Shimon and Levi because they banded together and caused destruction, is there such a thing that 2 certain neshamos should not be friends with each other?
ANSWER
Yes – sometimes 2 souls can be “kilayim” (a forbidden mixture, two materials that should not be mixed) to each other.
QUESTION
6) If that’s the case then how should the 2 people view each other? Since all Jews are unified together because they all share one collective soul, but there can be individual Jews who are not supposed to connect with one another because their relationship will be destructive (i.e. 2 friends who were very close and after some time, they get ‘too close’ and their relationship turns unhealthy – or worse - and they need to be separated from each other), how can we know if another person is someone that we are not meant to be connected with on this world?
ANSWER
The benefits of this friendship have to be weighed against the damage that comes out of this friendship.
QUESTION
7) In a case where 2 friends must become separated each other (i.e. an unhealthy relationship or attachment issues form between them, or it is damaging their personal holiness, or their friendship is simply destructive to the world like Shimon and Levi), do they still need to love each other deep down in their hearts and they just have to be aware that Hashem doesn’t want them to actively be close with each other?
ANSWER
Yes. But sometimes, one of them may have to be temporarily disengage from any kind of emotional closeness with the other, because his soul isn’t yet purified and therefore his love for the other can spread to unrefined places in his soul which will make the love itself detrimental.
QUESTION
8) What is the way to love another person with true ahavas Yisrael in a case where Hashem doesn’t want them to have an actual closeness/friendship with each other?
ANSWER
To have a clean, pure sense of being bound with the other, due to the fact that all Jewish souls share one collective soul, which has nothing to do with another as an individual.
QUESTION
9) I feel like I have no one in my life whom I can deeply connect with. The more attuned I become to my own inner world, the world feels like such a cold, dark place to me, a place of self-absorption where people don’t want to become truly connected with another. It seems to me that logical, rational people are afraid of deep relationships with another person, and they act as if they don’t want to be connected with another human being. And even the emotional types who are warmer and easier to connect to, I find that they are very limited in how much they allow themselves to connect with me. How can I deal with this reality I find myself in, where I feel like everyone acts like strangers who don’t want to know each other? I find myself very socially awkward lately in any public place, even in shul or in a beis midrash, because I feel like everyone is a bunch of strangers and no one wants to connect with me, and because of this, I feel horribly lonely and I prefer to stay in my house and learn there, because the world feels like such a cold place to me. Is this coming from an unhealthy place in me, or is it coming from the pain of my neshamah? And what can I do to fix this issue?
ANSWER
This is coming partially from an imbalanced place in your soul, in which you are not balanced in your relationship with Hashem, with yourself, and with another.
Your nefesh habehaimis (animal soul) is seeking relationships with others in a way that’s not balanced. That is the root of your difficulty. Besides for that factor, though, you also have a neshamah, and the neshamah has a nature to love others genuinely, and your neshamah is frustrated because it isn’t utilizing this potential completely. This is part of the Shechinah being in exile, and you should accept this pain with love. At the same time, make sure to purify your nefesh habehaimis and to restrict it by placing boundaries on your wish to connect to others in a very imbalanced way.
QUESTION
2) When do 2 chavrusos (Torah study partners) get to learn together in mesivta d’Rekia (the Heavenly yeshiva)?
ANSWER
If they are zocheh, two chavrusos learn together if they have the same shoresh neshamah (soul root). That is the case in “upper Gan Eden.” However, in “lower Gan Eden”, two chavrusos can learn together even if they were connected together only externally and more superficially on this world.
QUESTION
3) Does a person only have 1 chavrusa upstairs when he gets to the Heavenly yeshiva, or does he get more than 1 chavrusa?
ANSWER
More than one.
QUESTION
4) Is there a way to know which chavrusa I will learn with in Heaven? (And b’ezras Hashem, soon Mashiach will come and this question won’t be relevant!)
ANSWER
There is no way for a human being to know this.
QUESTION
5) Can there be two people whom Hashem doesn’t want them to friends with each other? For example just as we find that Yaakov Avinu didn’t like the friendship between Shimon and Levi because they banded together and caused destruction, is there such a thing that 2 certain neshamos should not be friends with each other?
ANSWER
Yes – sometimes 2 souls can be “kilayim” (a forbidden mixture, two materials that should not be mixed) to each other.
QUESTION
6) If that’s the case then how should the 2 people view each other? Since all Jews are unified together because they all share one collective soul, but there can be individual Jews who are not supposed to connect with one another because their relationship will be destructive (i.e. 2 friends who were very close and after some time, they get ‘too close’ and their relationship turns unhealthy – or worse - and they need to be separated from each other), how can we know if another person is someone that we are not meant to be connected with on this world?
ANSWER
The benefits of this friendship have to be weighed against the damage that comes out of this friendship.
QUESTION
7) In a case where 2 friends must become separated each other (i.e. an unhealthy relationship or attachment issues form between them, or it is damaging their personal holiness, or their friendship is simply destructive to the world like Shimon and Levi), do they still need to love each other deep down in their hearts and they just have to be aware that Hashem doesn’t want them to actively be close with each other?
ANSWER
Yes. But sometimes, one of them may have to be temporarily disengage from any kind of emotional closeness with the other, because his soul isn’t yet purified and therefore his love for the other can spread to unrefined places in his soul which will make the love itself detrimental.
QUESTION
8) What is the way to love another person with true ahavas Yisrael in a case where Hashem doesn’t want them to have an actual closeness/friendship with each other?
ANSWER
To have a clean, pure sense of being bound with the other, due to the fact that all Jewish souls share one collective soul, which has nothing to do with another as an individual.
QUESTION
9) I feel like I have no one in my life whom I can deeply connect with. The more attuned I become to my own inner world, the world feels like such a cold, dark place to me, a place of self-absorption where people don’t want to become truly connected with another. It seems to me that logical, rational people are afraid of deep relationships with another person, and they act as if they don’t want to be connected with another human being. And even the emotional types who are warmer and easier to connect to, I find that they are very limited in how much they allow themselves to connect with me. How can I deal with this reality I find myself in, where I feel like everyone acts like strangers who don’t want to know each other? I find myself very socially awkward lately in any public place, even in shul or in a beis midrash, because I feel like everyone is a bunch of strangers and no one wants to connect with me, and because of this, I feel horribly lonely and I prefer to stay in my house and learn there, because the world feels like such a cold place to me. Is this coming from an unhealthy place in me, or is it coming from the pain of my neshamah? And what can I do to fix this issue?
ANSWER
This is coming partially from an imbalanced place in your soul, in which you are not balanced in your relationship with Hashem, with yourself, and with another.
Your nefesh habehaimis (animal soul) is seeking relationships with others in a way that’s not balanced. That is the root of your difficulty. Besides for that factor, though, you also have a neshamah, and the neshamah has a nature to love others genuinely, and your neshamah is frustrated because it isn’t utilizing this potential completely. This is part of the Shechinah being in exile, and you should accept this pain with love. At the same time, make sure to purify your nefesh habehaimis and to restrict it by placing boundaries on your wish to connect to others in a very imbalanced way.
Categories
