POPULAR BUT SUFFERING INSIDE [#18627]

First of all I want to thank the Rav for all that he has done to help me in my ruchniyus. I am a mesivta (high school) age yeshiva bochur who learns in one of the best yeshivos in America. For a few years already I am dealing with an issue of constant negative feelings, recurring thoughts of low self-worth, fears, and other negative emotions. About a year ago I began to take some medication for my compulsive thoughts and negative feelings, and Baruch Hashem, I have seen much progress. In spite of that, however, I have a long way to go until I will be totally healthy. Although I have learned how to accept, to a certain degree, that this is the will of Hashem [that I should have these issues], it is still very hard for me, because it is very bothersome to my Avodas Hashem – with regards to my Torah learning, my davening, my daily schedule, and the development of my inner world. This has caused me much agony in my soul. Perhaps the Rav can daven for me? My name is______.
I am considered a very successful and popular bochur in my yeshiva – it is possible that I have been affected by ayin hara (a ‘bad eye’)? How can I deal with my situation?
Every word of encouragement from the Rav will be very much appreciated and accepted by me. Thank you.

The more that one believes, in his mind and heart, palpably, that it is only Hashem Who orchestrates everything that will ever happen, one’s soul will readily desire to do the will of the Creator, from the awareness that only He is in charge, and that no human being can change or help him - only if Hashem allows it. Slowly as one carries this awareness with him, one’s soul will become more connected with Hashem and feel cognizance of Hashem’s presence. Then one will be able to do everything with intention to do Hashem’s will, and not out of a desire to please other people. The more that a person becomes concerned with doing Hashem’s will - as opposed to being tied down to social approval and doing only whatever finds him favorable in the eyes of others - the more that one’s soul becomes connected with Hashem. Slowly, one becomes calm, tranquil and serene, for he will be exerting himself according to his true capabilities and according to what Hashem wants from him.
On one hand, a person can accept his suffering with love, because he can know that it is all for his good. At the same time, a person will be calm and not demand more from himself that is beyond his current level of capability, and he will only act according to his actual capabilities on his current level. Slowly, with siyata d’shmaya, the crushing feelings of low self-worth, fears and anxieties, etc. will be removed, and one will become freed from these negative thoughts that had previously been plaguing his actions and feelings.
May you find true peace, through a healthy body and soul, through constant spiritual growth, amidst a settled mind, tranquility, and joy.