A YESHIVA BOCHUR’S TEN QUESTIONS ABOUT AVODAS HASHEM [#18907]

1) What should I do if I feel that I’m not having kavanah by davening?

Every so often, pause to have kavanah for just a few words.
QUESTION
2) I am an average bochur who tries to learn by seder in my yeshiva. I wanted to know, how strict do I have to be when it comes to not “chatting” in the beis midrash? Since this is hard for me, I am asking where to draw the line when it comes to this.
ANSWER
Minimize it. Every so often in middle of talking, remind yourself of the place where you are in and what it’s about.
QUESTION
3) My father is lenient in certain areas, for example, he uses a hechsher that’s not from the better ones. Can I be stringent on myself and not eat those products that he uses? Or do I always need to eat the products he is using, out of honor for my father (I’m not sure if he will be insulted if I don’t eat his hechsher. Also, sometimes he won’t find out that I’m being stringent not to eat from his hechsher).
ANSWER
In front of him, eat from the hechsher he uses.
QUESTION
4) What is a good and easy sefer to learn if I want to start learning Chassidus?
ANSWER
Chassidus Mevueres - Shabbos Kodesh, Moadim.
QUESTION
5) In my dorm room, I wash my hands next to my bed in the morning. If it wakes up my roommate, is it better that I shouldn’t wash next to my bed? Also I try to be careful to make the zman Kerias Shema of the Magen Avraham and sometimes I wake up close to the zman, but if I try to make it then it can wake up my brother. Should I rather get up later for zman Kerias Shema of the Gra so that I won’t wake up my brother?
ANSWER
It’s more important to be careful about bein adam l’chaveiro (to care about others’ feelings).
QUESTION
6) Rav Wolbe zt”l told a bochur who wanted to learn about emunah that he should learn sefer Kuzari. I am 16 and a half– is it appropriate for me to learn Kuzari?
ANSWER
No.
QUESTION
7) If by mistake I heard lashon hora, should I deny it in my heart, or should I accept what I heard but be dan l’kaf zechus? And in a scenario where it’s a bit hard for me not to agree to the lashon hora (or because I know the person they’re talking about), it is better in such a case to accept the lashon hora but be dan l’kaf zechus?
ANSWER
If you’re able to deny the lashon hora to yourself, that is better, but if you find that you can’t, then it’s better to be dan l’kef zechus the person.
QUESTION
8) The Ramban says (in Igeres HaRamban) to always speak pleasantly to everyone. What does that mean? And does it also apply when learning Torah (for example, when I’m arguing with another while we’re learning)?
ANSWER
At the very least, it means to pause your words every so often. Once every so often, pause your words, and the style of talking with other should be respectful to him.
QUESTION
9) What does the Ramban mean that “your eyes should look downward and your heart should be facing above?”

ANSWER
To be connected with Hashem, or at least to be connected to a more spiritual plane.
QUESTION
10) In the dorm, is it better (1) Sleep in a room with a friend and where I’ll be able to go to bed earlier, but I won’t be doing a chessed for anyone? Or (2) Sleep in a room with a boy who’s not that good and who I don’t enjoy being around, who doesn’t always have a clean mouth, and I’m not sure I’ll go to sleep on time if I sleep in that room? (I’m not that drawn into conversations anyway though). If I do this it would be a great chessed for that roommate because others don’t want to be in his room, and it would prevent a lot of fights in the dorm.
ANSWER
If it’s not that much of a bother to you, go with the second option.