QUESTION:
None of the girls I go out with are attractive in my eyes. They’re not ugly, they’re just not pretty enough for me. I really feel like I need to marry a beautiful girl, and because of this, I don’t feel like I connect with any of the girls I go out with. Are there certain souls who need to marry girls that are more beautiful than others? Is this just a lustful desire or is it a real need that I have? I just can’t see myself in a loving relationship with a girl who isn’t beautiful enough. No one understands me when I speak to them about this, not even my Rabbonim, and they are shocked at me when I say that this is what I need, because I do not come across as the type to be so into this. Maybe it’s just a taavah (desire) that I have, but I’m still confused about what to do, because maybe it’s a real need that my neshamah has…
ANSWER:
No matter what the case, never look for a particularly beautiful girl! If this is a real emotional need that you have, then it is possible to find a girl “a bit more” beautiful than the average, but if you are looking for a particularly beautiful girl, you are holding back your zivug (marriage partner) and this will cause you to marry someone who is not according to your personal cheilek (share), and it will be “In the way a person wants to go in, he is led” [Heaven will guide him towards what he wants, but to his detriment].
Categories
