Jealousy Attacks [#1634]

January 7, 2019

Question:

Shalom, honorable Rav. My entire soul and life lays in this question. The dominant element which I identify in my soul is water, and it is also the character trait which is destroying my marriage. I was on a trip with my husband in a certain place and some girls passed in front of him who were immodestly dressed. I exploded in anger at my husband [because I was jealous that he was looking at them], and my anger was totally out of proportion. Hashem should have pity on me over my situation, because I cry and I curse [when I get angry as a result of being jealous]! 1) What is the root of the intense jealousy that I felt? 2) How can I fix this trait? 3) What is the way of teshuvah which the Rav recommends, in how I can repair my anger and my cursing, which resulted from my jealousy?

Answer:

1) Jealousy is the result of a distance from one’s own self. The more one becomes connected to his true “I”, the less he will become jealous.
2) Build your own inner, truthful world, reach your individually unique quality, and connect to it. More specifically, identify your greatest weakness and repair it. Through this, your soul will attain a balance. On a practical level, work on loving other people, with the belief that every person has his own individual quality. 3) Each day, bless another person, from deep in your heart, and from love.