QUESTION:
1)I have a friend who’s always happy, always with a smile and who is easily laughing – I’m blown away by how he’s always in such a good mood. Others are also in awe of his easygoing and happy and smiley nature, how he’s always so full of life. I am trying to understand how he is able to be so happy always. Is it because he has already revealed his neshamah? Is it because he’s very deeply connected to the Torah that he learns? Or it is because he has an easygoing nature and that’s how his nefesh habehaimis is? Does it come from a dominance of one of the 4 elements? (I’m thinking either wind or water).
ANSWER:
It may be coming from any one of these reasons you mentioned, or it may be because of all the above.
QUESTION
2) My friend is always in a good mood, always smiling, laughs all the time, and he’s always in a positive frame of mind and he only sees things that are positive, he’s always saying things that put a smile on others and he easily gets others into a good mood. Never once have I heard him every say something negative, and even if he would, he would say it in a humorous way. I am awestruck from his positive nature – in fact, it’s baffling to me how a person can always be so positive. My question is: Does this mean that he is a very internal kind of person who’s very connected to Hashem and to Torah? Or is he just a superficial kind of person who isn’t deep and who never thinks about the purpose of life and who never tries to build his internal world? I’ve known him for many years and it seems that he doesn’t like to be deep or think too much, but he is also very diligent in Torah and he is very careful in mitzvos, so he is certainly spiritual and he can be serious too. Unlike my friend, I on the other hand am usually not happy, I am easily negative, and I take life very seriously. What’s bothering me is that I am so much deeper than my friend is, I’m always trying to build my inner world, so why am I not easily happy, whereas my friend doesn’t work hard on himself like I do yet he is always so happy? I’m always eating myself up inside because of this, it seems so unfair, that the deeper I become the harder it is for me to be happy, whereas those who remain superficial and they don’t become deeper and they don’t think too much, they are happier. I am aware from the Rav’s shiurim that simchah is a deep joy and not a superficial joy. So am I so far from simchah even though I’m very deep and internal, and why is my friend always so happy even though he’s not deep like I am? I’m jealous of him that he’s always so happy even though he doesn’t work on himself like I do! Am I supposed to just take life simply and not think that much, and then I’ll be happier like my friend is?
ANSWER
Your main problem that’s holding back you is that you haven’t yet purified or balanced out your “element of water”. Also, your friend has a simpler, smoother nature than you, while your nature is more complex and multi-faceted. But that doesn’t mean you need to abandon your complex nature. You just need to balance it out and purify it more – because, in your case, this is your cheilek (personal portion) on this world.
QUESTION
3) There’s a new-age thinking today that “Depression is a sign of being deep.” When people are sad and depressed, is it because they’re deeper kinds of people and they think a lot, and that’s what makes them get depressed? Or are there are reasons for why people get depressed?
ANSWER
Sometimes, sadness comes from being very deep, and sometimes it doesn’t – for example it may be coming from an impaired element of “earth”.
QUESTION
2) My friend is always in a good mood, always smiling, laughs all the time, and he’s always in a positive frame of mind and he only sees things that are positive, he’s always saying things that put a smile on others and he easily gets others into a good mood. Never once have I heard him every say something negative, and even if he would, he would say it in a humorous way. I am awestruck from his positive nature – in fact, it’s baffling to me how a person can always be so positive. My question is: Does this mean that he is a very internal kind of person who’s very connected to Hashem and to Torah? Or is he just a superficial kind of person who isn’t deep and who never thinks about the purpose of life and who never tries to build his internal world? I’ve known him for many years and it seems that he doesn’t like to be deep or think too much, but he is also very diligent in Torah and he is very careful in mitzvos, so he is certainly spiritual and he can be serious too. Unlike my friend, I on the other hand am usually not happy, I am easily negative, and I take life very seriously. What’s bothering me is that I am so much deeper than my friend is, I’m always trying to build my inner world, so why am I not easily happy, whereas my friend doesn’t work hard on himself like I do yet he is always so happy? I’m always eating myself up inside because of this, it seems so unfair, that the deeper I become the harder it is for me to be happy, whereas those who remain superficial and they don’t become deeper and they don’t think too much, they are happier. I am aware from the Rav’s shiurim that simchah is a deep joy and not a superficial joy. So am I so far from simchah even though I’m very deep and internal, and why is my friend always so happy even though he’s not deep like I am? I’m jealous of him that he’s always so happy even though he doesn’t work on himself like I do! Am I supposed to just take life simply and not think that much, and then I’ll be happier like my friend is?
ANSWER
Your main problem that’s holding back you is that you haven’t yet purified or balanced out your “element of water”. Also, your friend has a simpler, smoother nature than you, while your nature is more complex and multi-faceted. But that doesn’t mean you need to abandon your complex nature. You just need to balance it out and purify it more – because, in your case, this is your cheilek (personal portion) on this world.
QUESTION
3) There’s a new-age thinking today that “Depression is a sign of being deep.” When people are sad and depressed, is it because they’re deeper kinds of people and they think a lot, and that’s what makes them get depressed? Or are there are reasons for why people get depressed?
ANSWER
Sometimes, sadness comes from being very deep, and sometimes it doesn’t – for example it may be coming from an impaired element of “earth”.
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