Modest Boundaries at Work [#1094]

July 13, 2018


In my job, I work with women, and to my pain, they do not always dress modestly. I know that the true advice for me is that I shouldn’t look at them, but this is not realistic. If someone there has to talk to me it is unfeasible for me not to look at her. It is not possible for me to work in this way, both from my perspective as well as from the other’s perspective. What is the advice? Does this require a lot of inner work, which I would have to strive to reach, or it does not require that much inner work and I can put it into practice immediately? Can the Rav give me any advice so that I can pass these daily tests and grow spiritually – whether I have to attend meetings at work, or when we have to go out to lunch together, or in general when I am working with everyone in the office? Thank you very much for the help.


  1. Think about making a change in your life.

  2. Practice focusing your vision on a certain [nondescript] point.

  3. Become deeply connected to yourself.

  4. Before each meeting, davenpray [to Hashem, for assistance].

  5. Don’t become emotionally connected to anyone there.

  6. Try to minimize your encounters with them, as much as you can.

  7. Be happy with every small success you have.

  8. Examine [the situation] to see if you are progressing.