Question:
Every year Purim, I am not sure how I am supposed to act, with regards to becoming intoxicated on Purim. I have never gotten completely drunk, I just drink a little more than the usual and afterwards I rest, as stated in the Rema (Orach Chaim 696:1). But every year when Purim is over, I feel that I didn’t experience true simchah on Purim. Every year when it comes Purim, I feel instead like a “mourner” who can’t rejoice, and that everyone around me is happy while I remain “outside the camp”, in solitude, for they are moving around and happy and enjoying and growing, utilizing their elements of water, wind, and fire, while I remain stuck in my element of earth.
I made a self-accounting with myself and I concluded that I have several reasons why I don’t want to become drunk on Purim.
Firstly, I am afraid that this will cause me to be careless about mitzvos, i.e. when it comes to davening and bentching, and I see that usually when people drink a lot on Purim, they become sick the day after Purim and they don’t daven with a minyan, etc. So I always think to myself: What do I need this for?! Any gains from drinking on Purim become voided, due to all of the losses that result from it. Sometimes people ruin their Purim [because of drinking too much] and sometimes this extends to the day after Purim as well.
Another reason I don’t get drunk on Purim is because I am afraid that I will reveal to others what’s going on deep inside myself. I am afraid of discovering what’s really in me, and I am afraid that I will tell others about my darkest secrets. (I am aware that the Rav has spoken about this in a derashah: that people are scared to discover what’s really inside them).
So I am having contradicting feelings, if I should get drunk on Purim or not. On one hand, it just may be my personal soul redemption. On the other hand, I am afraid of the detrimental results it may cause, as mentioned above.
I will add that I have another reason why I should get drunk on Purim: during the rest of the year, I don’t express love to others, and I have some family relatives that I would really want to express love to, such as my father, father-in-law, brother-in-laws, uncles, etc. During the rest of the year, I don’t have the emotional courage to let them know that I love them (as most people). But if I get drunk on Purim, I will be able to express love to them. I could call my parents and brothers on the phone on Purim, and I would be eating the Purim seudah with my father-in-law, brothers-in-law, and uncles. Perhaps for this reason alone I should get drunk on Purim!
Maybe the Rav can guide me about this. It is one day of the year which all of the year depends on [spiritually], and especially because I wouldn’t want to fall into the “doubts” of “Amalek” on Purim, of all days. Much thanks to the Rav, and a tremendous yasher koach.
Answer:
It is written, “To the Jews there was orah (light) and simchah (joy).” We should understand that simchah (joy) comes from “orah”, from “light”. There [are two levels of spiritual “light”]: the illumination itself, and the “sparks” of this illumination [a “partial” level of spiritual illumination].
For most people, the joy and laughter that they have [through getting drunk] on Purim is on the “animal” level of the soul (the nefesh habehaimis). In some cases, people will sin on Purim by engaging in improper jest of others (leitzanus), by insulting others, etc. Their joy is being manifest within the three impure “husks” (kelipos) and these people become attached to these kelipos.
In other cases, people will not sin on Purim, but their simchah on Purim still does not go beyond the “animal” level of the soul: they get joy from things that make the “animal soul” happy, such as meat, wine, and humorous things. There can sometimes be “sparks” of true joy that are contained in this, but they are merely “sparks” of joy. So their joy is a mixture of superficial joy with some sparks of true joy. When people have this kind of joy on Purim, they will express what’s in their heart, and they will speak about what they aspire for and what they really want, amidst their state of intoxication. However, in almost all cases, there is still a joy on the level of the “animal” soul, the nefesh habehaimis, and at best, they have merely “sparks” of true joy.
However, of Purim it is said “To the Jews, there was light and joy”, and this means that simchah (joy) comes from orah (spiritual light). So even though you say that “Everyone around me is happy”, that doesn’t mean anything! Because their simchah is only on a superficial level, as described above.
Regarding the fact that you feel as if you are stuck in your element of “earth”, this can be coming from any one of the following two reasons: (A) It can come from a strong leaning towards the element of earth, (B) It can be a subtle, inner recognition that the simchah which you are witnessing on Purim is not genuine, and deep down, you soul isn’t interested in it – it only wants “orah v’simchah”, the joy that comes from spiritual light. Your soul merely connects to the serenity which they are having [but not to their joy].
For most people, it is appropriate to drink a little more than what they are used to, and in a way that will not cause them to lose their daas (objective thinking). Rather, they need to get to the point where they feel an inner “expansion” [of the mind], and where their heart become gladdened. This opens the heart, and it then becomes possible for a person to express things which he normally doesn’t express during the rest of the year. However, as mentioned, this should not happen from [becoming intoxicated to the point that one has] loss of daas, nor should it come from a desire to unleash one’s pent-up feelings that are stored in his heart. Rather, it should be a result of expanded daas, from an expansion of the heart. This is the depth of the verse, “For the heart of the king is good, with wine.” It is a subtle boundary to tread, and this is what is appropriate for many people.
There is also a subtler approach to take: One can [become intoxicated to the point of] “lose” his normal daas, and instead become attached with a more expansive kind of daas, which is in the category of “surrounding light” (ohr makif)…This is the depth behind the difference between the regular cities with the walled citied from the times of Yehoshua. The 14th of Adar, which is for the regular cities, represents the level of nullifying one’s daas. The 15th of Adar, which was for the walled cities since the times of Yehoshua, represents the “surrounding light”, the ohr makif, the expanded level of daas.
In truth, “the question of a wise person is half the answer.” One needs to clarify the definitions of halachah of the subject at hand, by studying all of the opinions of the Poskim, and then one should clarify his current spiritual level. He should think about what the gains are, and what the disadvantages are. Therefore it is appropriate for each person to clarify all of the views of the Poskim about the halachah of becoming intoxicated on Purim, and then one should clarify what his personal level is, and if he will gain or lose by becoming intoxicated on Purim. If he feels that he will gain from it, he needs to clarify exactly what he will gain, as well as any detrimental results that may come because of it. This is the proper, clear approach to take, and it is halachah l’maaseh.
One should not draw any conclusions from great tzaddikim who became intoxicated on Purim. Nor should one conclude that he needs to be like most people on Purim who aren’t careful with halachah when they become drunk. (Of this it is not said that “If they are not prophets, they are still the sons of prophets”, since we are dealing here with the “animal” level of the soul which seeks laughter, frivolity, lawlessness, and all other undesirable elements. The “animal” level of one’s soul will seek to learn about happiness from observing animalistic behavior, either by observing animals, or by observing gentiles, who become very intoxicated - on their holidays specifically, and during the rest of their lives in general.) So it is upon each person to act according to his current level, as mentioned above, by first clarifying the halachah and then clarifying all of the details of his current spiritual level.
The avodah of every person on this day [Purim] is to reach the innermost point of the soul, from his current perception, which is his current level of “orah” (spiritual light) that he has so far reached. From that point, one can draw forth simchah. There is no greater evil on Purim than one who copies others’ behavior, for this is totally ignoring the “individuality” of oneself. And although there is a custom to dress up in costumes on Purim, that is really because we are showing that the way we appear during the rest of the year is actually a “costume” [for during the rest of the year we are not revealing our true self]. That is how we reveal our true self. How pitiful is it when a person has to completely imitate the behavior of others around him, on Purim [because he doesn’t get to be “himself”].
The day of Purim is the day to reach one’s very core, which is above one’s daas. From that inner place, one will be able to sense the reality of the Creator, Whom there is nothing else besides. It is a day where “the King” is totally revealed, where the “King of kings” can be revealed even in the most mundane aspects. It is the revelation that the true “king” is really the King of all kings. On the day of Purim, the King is revealed in every place.
So the avodah on the day of Purim is for one to “divest” himself from all “garments”. This is the deeper implication of the word “Megillah”, which means “reveal”. Through this, one can touch upon the very essence of his neshamah, and from reaching that place, one can unify with others: to send mishloach manos to others in order to increase love and friendship with others, and to give matanos l’evyonim to others out of a deep, inner simchah that one reaches within. One finds the joy within himself and then he can make others happy. From there, one can find a Torah of revelation, a level of Torah that is called “megillah”, where all is revealed and there is no concealment. This is the meaning of what the Sages taught that the “light” revealed on Purim, the orah, is referring to Torah. It is a “Torah” of revelation, which brings one to have genuine, deep, inner simchah.
That is the true simchah on this day, and nothing else compares to it. During the rest of the year, the Torah is called “closed, and revealed”, but on this day, the Torah is entirely about revelation. This is the depth of the concept that the “Megillah is read”: from the spiritual light of the Megillah, one is able to “read” the entire Torah: the words of Torah will be “read” on their own, for it is entirely in the category of revelation. This is the complete simchah, joy at its root, a joy in the Creator: “The righteous will rejoice in Hashem.”
Categories
