of Serving Hashem
Question:
I first want to thank the Rav for the wonderful shiurim on all topics which really strengthen my avodas Hashem. My life has changed completely because of this and may Hashem bestow the Rav with blessing and success in all matters and to continue to guide the nation of Hashem in the proper path. I am a 16-year old yeshiva bochur and I have heard some of the Rav’s shiurim, mainly Getting To Know Your Self, Getting To Know Your Soul and Torah Way To Enlightenment. I would be happy to receive guidance on several topics (19 altogether).
1) The Rav says that the purpose of life is to become connected with Hashem. But the sefer Yesod V’Shoresh H’Avodah says that the purpose of life is to make Hashem proud of us, to give Him a nachas ruach, satisfaction. How is that not a contradiction?
Answer:
Hashem has satisfaction (nachas ruach) from those who become close to Him, just like a father wants his children to be close with him and to be with him. The mitzvos are from the word tzavta, companionship - they are a means of becoming closer with Hashem.
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2) When do we say that a person should try hard at something and when shouldn’t he push himself? What kind of pushing leads to too much pressure that breaks a person?
Answer:
Trying hard at something is good when it leads to joy afterwards, and when your mind and emotions stay calm and balanced. It can be something that exerts you physically, but it should be the kind of exertion that leads you to happy and serenity after doing it, so that you continue serving Hashem after trying hard at what you have done. [But if trying hard is causing you to feel stressed about it, then trying hard is not constructive to you and it’s just pressure that’s not constructive].
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3) How do you stay balanced between doing ratzon Hashem with being socially accepted by your friends?
Answer:
You need a close relationship with 2 or 3 friends, and with everyone else you just need to have a light relationship with them and being respectful to them.
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4) How do we serve Hashem lishmah and what does it mean? If I want to make Hashem proud of me, is that called serving Him lishmah since it’s really about me?
Answer:
That is called lishmah. In every major thing that you do, try to do it with some minimal intent of doing it lishmah, meaning that you should try to minimize any personal negios (self-serving motivations) in doing it.
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5) If I learn because I enjoy learning, is that called learning lishmah? What does it mean to learn Torah lishmah?
Answer:
See Nefesh HaChaim, Shaar IV.
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6) Does a person need to be frugal in our times in order to succeed at acquiring Torah, by eating only bread dipped in salt and drinking only water as Chazal say in Avos? What are the parameters of staying frugal today, and in today’s day, what’s considered eating for the sake of taavah (physical desire)?
Answer:
Minimize a bit of the pleasures you are used to. Every so often, i.e. once a month, train yourself to eat just bread dipped in salt. However, make sure that you are balancing yourself out with enjoying your learning and enjoying avodas Hashem.
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7) If in yeshivah they are learning a certain perek of Gemara and I would rather be reviewing what I learned last year, which kind of learning should I mainly be immersed in? What yeshiva is learning, or what my heart desires?
Answer:
Learn what your yeshiva is learning. In your free time, learn what you wish.
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8) Since we get greater reward according to the amount of pain we have, and an action done out of pain has greater worth to Hashem than when there’s no pain involved, why then do we place so much importance on gaining a love for Torah and enjoying ruchniyus? Isn’t pain preferable to pleasure?
Answer:
A person needs a balance of both hard work and pleasure – it is impossible to have one without the other and succeed.
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9) What’s the difference between humility and low self-worth? And at what age should a person start avoiding gaavah (conceit)?
Answer:
Humility is to recognize your strengths that Hashem has given you, while low self-worth is when you don’t admit to your own strengths and instead you want to be more like your friend. Every day, think of your qualities, and once a week, think about where you fall short in.
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10) What’s better, to learn with a good chavrusa whom I enjoy learning with, or to take a weaker chavrusa that I don’t learn as good with and which isn’t as enjoyable?
Answer:
Most of the time you should be learning with a chavrusa you enjoy learning with, and 10% of your time should be spent on learning with someone you don’t enjoy learning with.
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11) What’s the best thing to learn when it’s not during seder, during a break? Finishing more Masechtos of Gemara, or learning Nach, or Mishnayos, or analyzing the parsha, or halachah?
Answer:
Split up your schedule according to what your heart desires. During Bein HaZemanim you can complete whatever you missed.
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12) How can I develop my pnimiyus while being in yeshiva when we are found all day with friends and we have to keep to the daily schedule every day?
Answer:
Follow the advice of the Ramchal in Derech Eitz Chaim, which is that a person should set aside a few minutes every day to think: “What am I living for?”
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13) Is it better not to download shiurim from Kol HaLashon in a shul?
Answer:
There is no need to, unless you think that not doing so will be very damaging to you.
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14) I have chiddushim I’ve written, should I put it out as a sefer if I think it will encourage me? And if I should, should I put it out anonomously? Should I put my father’s name in it and his words of approval for my sefer, where everyone will realize that it’s me? Or should I put it out completely anonomous with no mention of my father’s name?
Answer:
Yes – put it out anonymously, and with your father’s words of approval at the beginning of the sefer.
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15) How does one serve Hashem when going through a dismal period?
Answer:
First become aware that you have less emotional and mental energy when the dismal period sets in. Then write down how your schedule will look during your times of growth as well as what your schedule will look like when you can’t grow as much.
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16) If someone asks me a technical
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in middle of my learning, do I need to
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him or can I tell him respectfully that I can’t talk right now?
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Tell him respectfully that you cannot
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his
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s right now.
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17) Should I take the vaccine for corona? I had COVID more than 5 months ago.
Answer:
No need.
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18) I don’t yet feel “taavos” when I see immodesty. Should I travel to yeshiva on a quicker route even though I will see immodesty, or should I take a longer route to get to yeshivah in order to avoid seeing immodesty even thought it will cause me to come later and give up more time from learning?
Answer:
Take the longer route where you will avoid seeing the immodesty.
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19) How do we prepare for the arrival of Mashiach?
Answer:
Every day, think about what’s missing the world, and await for all of these things to be filled and complete. From all of your
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s, it is recognizable that you are a ben aliyah!
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