Question:
In the Rav’s derashah “The Avodah of Our Generation”, the Rav writes that the way to overcome the “50th Gate of Defilement” in our generation is only through mesirus nefesh [self-sacrifice]. However, in other derashos, I have heard the Rav say that there are always different paths to traverse: to go step after step, and the path of mesirus nefesh. But according to what the Rav has said in the derashah of “The Avodah of Our Generation”, it seems that there is only one path to take – mesirus nefesh.
I would be happy if the Rav can clarify what this means for me, practically. Let’s say we have a person who has difficulty with learning Torah, and he likes to sleep a lot. Does such a person need to give up his entire being, in one moment, in order to serve Hashem [by overcoming his difficulty in learning and his desire to sleep]? How can he do this, if he’s not on that level?!] So what does the Rav mean by the words “mesirus nefesh”?
Answer:
Throughout all of the generations, there were always two paths: 1) Hadragah, to progress step after step. 2) Mesirus nefesh, self-sacrifice, as Rabbi Eliezer ben Dordaya did [see Talmud Bavli, Avodah Zarah 17a].
In our generation, where the “50th Gate of Defilement” is in full force, the only way to counter it is through mesirus nefesh. Therefore, each person needs to exercise mesirus nefesh on [at least] one area of his life. However this does not mean that a person needs to do all of his actions with mesirus nefesh. It just means that a person needs to have some connection to the level of mesirus nefesh. It is possible for one to implement this idea by taking the area of his life in which he finds his greatest struggle in, and to have mesirus nefesh in that area.
Practically speaking, though, this is unfeasible for most people, so it is not close within reach of most people. So instead, one can try to find other areas in his life [where he struggles in] – each person on his own level and according to his own unique situation – and to exercise mesirus nefesh in those areas [in which he struggles in]. In that way, one can become connected to mesirus nefesh, and thereafter, one has a connection to the “50th Gate of Holiness”, and he is no longer held captive by the “50th Gate of Defilement”. Once a person accesses this spiritual illumination, it will be shined onto all other areas of one’s avodah.
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