QUESTION:
1) If a person grew up in a home where the element of “earth” was very dominant, and today he is also very much “earth” in everything he does (though not as extreme as it was when he was growing up), is it possible that his main element can really be a different element, and he’s only very “earth”-type because that’s what kind of atmosphere he grew up in the home with?
ANSWER:
Yes. A person needs to clarify his soul, and this is explained in sefer Hakarah Atzmis (Self-Recognition) and in the 4 Elements series.
QUESTION
2) If a person knows that he became a certain way because of the way he grew up, how does he change this? Does he need to identify his personality better in order to change, or does he simply need to change the thinking patterns that he acquired from his environment?
ANSWER
The main way of repair is for one to identify himself better (to gain a better understanding of his unique personality). Changing one’s thinking patterns is also a necessary factor, but it is only a partial factor and it is not the main part of changing.
QUESTION
3) Also, if an “earth”-type person wants to fix his nature, does he need to go in the opposite extreme, as the Rambam says, that a person who has a bad middah needs to first take the opposite extreme in order to come to the middle road? I am aware that the Rav advises people to start with small changes and not with extreme changes, but the Rambam seems to say differently, that a person needs to start improving by going in the opposite extreme. So let’s say a person is very the “earth”-type, for example he suffers a lot from low self-worth and lowers himself in the eyes of others, does he need to fix this by going in the opposite extreme [i.e. blowing up his sense of self-worth]?
ANSWER
3) Most people are not built for extreme changes. Firstly, that needs a lot of inner strength, and also, when people make extreme changes, for most people it causes them to be anxious and it is jolting to other parts of their souls. It can only work for people who are able who can remain very calm and who are already very clear about their souls. Practically speaking, in our generation, there is a path by which one makes extreme changes in order to improve, and this is the view of Novhardok. But most of Raboseinu (our teachers) did not take this path. Also, the Rambam doesn’t say to make extreme changes all at once, the Rambam only says to gradually make changes and slowly get to the opposite extreme, and to afterwards slowly come back and get to the middle point.
QUESTION
2) If a person knows that he became a certain way because of the way he grew up, how does he change this? Does he need to identify his personality better in order to change, or does he simply need to change the thinking patterns that he acquired from his environment?
ANSWER
The main way of repair is for one to identify himself better (to gain a better understanding of his unique personality). Changing one’s thinking patterns is also a necessary factor, but it is only a partial factor and it is not the main part of changing.
QUESTION
3) Also, if an “earth”-type person wants to fix his nature, does he need to go in the opposite extreme, as the Rambam says, that a person who has a bad middah needs to first take the opposite extreme in order to come to the middle road? I am aware that the Rav advises people to start with small changes and not with extreme changes, but the Rambam seems to say differently, that a person needs to start improving by going in the opposite extreme. So let’s say a person is very the “earth”-type, for example he suffers a lot from low self-worth and lowers himself in the eyes of others, does he need to fix this by going in the opposite extreme [i.e. blowing up his sense of self-worth]?
ANSWER
3) Most people are not built for extreme changes. Firstly, that needs a lot of inner strength, and also, when people make extreme changes, for most people it causes them to be anxious and it is jolting to other parts of their souls. It can only work for people who are able who can remain very calm and who are already very clear about their souls. Practically speaking, in our generation, there is a path by which one makes extreme changes in order to improve, and this is the view of Novhardok. But most of Raboseinu (our teachers) did not take this path. Also, the Rambam doesn’t say to make extreme changes all at once, the Rambam only says to gradually make changes and slowly get to the opposite extreme, and to afterwards slowly come back and get to the middle point.
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