QUESTION:
What is a husband’s avodah when his wife is in labor? How can he remain calm and make her feel calm as well, and at the same time davening to Hashem? And what should he daven for during this time?
ANSWER:
On one hand, he should be reminding himself of the emunah that Ain Od Milvado, that nothing is in control except for Hashem (see Nefesh HaChaim shaar III, 12). He should also be davening that his wife should have an easy birth, and that the baby should be born healthy. At the same time, he also needs to sympathize with her pain, and he should be going back and forth between these different states: emunah in Aid Milvado, and davening for his wife and baby, and sympathizing with his wife.
QUESTION
What should a husband do if his wife is in pain from having contractions and she is nervous, and when she hears him davening from a siddur or Tehillim it only makes her more nervous and she yells at him to stop davening and just remain calm?
ANSWER
Daven from your own language without using any of the prayers of the siddur, and you can also daven mentally. Make sure to cycle back and forth between emunah, tefillah, and sympathizing with your wife, as explained in the previous answer.
QUESTION
The goyim nurses and doctors in the hospital seem to act much nicer and more respectful and kinder than many Jews that I know, and I feel sometimes that goyim have better middos than Jews. Yet I know deep down that a Jew’s neshamah is holier, I just can’t help but wonder why most Jews I know can’t be as nice as these goyim that are so helpful and nice to me….
ANSWER
When a goy is nice, kind, helpful and compassionate, this comes from the basic level of compassion that comes from the nefesh habehaimis (animal soul), just as an eagle is compassionate on its young. You need to recognize that only a Jew possesses a soul that is a “portion of G-d above”, a soul that is capable of emulating the middos of Hashem, for the middos of Hashem are naturally ingrained in a Jew’s soul.
QUESTION
What should a husband do if his wife is in pain from having contractions and she is nervous, and when she hears him davening from a siddur or Tehillim it only makes her more nervous and she yells at him to stop davening and just remain calm?
ANSWER
Daven from your own language without using any of the prayers of the siddur, and you can also daven mentally. Make sure to cycle back and forth between emunah, tefillah, and sympathizing with your wife, as explained in the previous answer.
QUESTION
The goyim nurses and doctors in the hospital seem to act much nicer and more respectful and kinder than many Jews that I know, and I feel sometimes that goyim have better middos than Jews. Yet I know deep down that a Jew’s neshamah is holier, I just can’t help but wonder why most Jews I know can’t be as nice as these goyim that are so helpful and nice to me….
ANSWER
When a goy is nice, kind, helpful and compassionate, this comes from the basic level of compassion that comes from the nefesh habehaimis (animal soul), just as an eagle is compassionate on its young. You need to recognize that only a Jew possesses a soul that is a “portion of G-d above”, a soul that is capable of emulating the middos of Hashem, for the middos of Hashem are naturally ingrained in a Jew’s soul.
QUESTION
Are the non-Jewish nurses and midwives in the hospital to be viewed as Hashem’s messengers to help bring my baby into the world, and do they have a zechus (merit) in bringing a Jewish neshamah into the world?
ANSWER
Certainly they are messengers of Hashem, and yes, they do have a zechus because of what they are doing.
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