QUESTION:
I was born into a wealthy home. Over time, in yeshiva I became more into ruchniyus. I am still a bochur in yeshivah. My family doesn’t live with over-the-top extravagance, but we do live in a large house, I get the nicest and costliest esrog, and I drive a new car, etc. My friends in yeshiva noticed that I have a much more comfortable lifestyle then they do. I feel uncomfortable around my friends when our different lifestyles come up in our conversations. They look at me like a spoiled wealthy kid, in comparison to the frugal lifestyles that they live - even though I am far from the luxurious lifestyle of my parents. I am thankful to Hashem and to my parents for making my life financially comfortable, I’m happy I can sit and learn undisturbed all the time while my friends have to take on side jobs to make money. I don’t feel that my comfortable lifestyle takes me out of ruchniyus. I try all the time to make sure that I’m not becoming more extravagant. But I’m uncomfortable inviting my friends over to my house, because I know they don’t approve of my lifestyle (and my parents do a lot of chessed and invite guests often, and they also tell me to invite guests). I would be happy to receive some guidance on this topic.
ANSWER:
Understandably, a person should not flaunt his wealth. As Yaakov told his sons, “Why do you have to be seen?” But at the same time, we also must ingrain in ourselves the emunah, that Hashem has decided what kind of life you will have [wealthy, average, or poor], and therefore you should not care what others say about that which Hashem has given to you. The stronger of a connection that one has with his inner self and with Hashem, the less reactive he is to what others think or say about him.
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