Dealing With Unfairness [#1619]


How do I deal with a boss who doesn’t keep to the conditions of the workers, especially if he was intentionally planning to ignore the conditions to begin with? On a related note, how can I deal with my spouse or child when they intentionally cause me pain?

Am I supposed to say that it’s all from Hashem and it’s all for my good, and to perhaps reflect on how I need to do teshuvah, and to make a self-accounting how it’s all for my good – and to continue loving my spouse or child just as much as before? Or, in addition to saying that all that happens to me is from Hashem and it’s for my good, is it also permitted for me to speak up, or at least come to a negative conclusion, about the person? For example, am I allowed to think that my boss is a liar, a thief, a stingy person, etc.? Also, if I have concluded to myself that my boss, or my wife, or friend, or child, has a certain aspect of personality that I detest and which upsets me, does that mean that I also have that negative aspect of character?

Much thanks in honor of the venerable Rav, for teaching this generation a new dimension of Torah, which the Rav is revealing and teaching to us.


1) Calm yourself down when it bothers you. 2) Recognize that everything is from Hashem. 3) Do teshuvah, from the recognition that everything that happens is from Hashem as a means to awaken us to return to Him. Do this along with concluding that the other has a fault. 4) Recognize that everything that happens is for the good. 5) Try as much as you not to think that the other human being was the cause for your harm. Instead, view it as if the other person was basically forced to act this way. Try to judge the other person favorably. 6) Try to awaken a love towards the other person.