Question:
My son came home today with a treif (unfiltered) smartphone. How can I deal with this?
Answer:
I join in your pain, my dear friend, over your precious son!
Let us think, together, about our holy Avos. Avraham was zocheh on one hand to a holy son, Yitzchok. But he also had a Yishmael, who didn’t go in the ways of Hashem. Still, Avraham didn’t give up on trying to return Yishmael to teshuvah. Yitzchok was zocheh on one hand to a holy son, Yaakov, a pure man who sat in the tents learning Torah. But on the other hand he also has a wicked son Esav. How much pain did Avraham and Yitzchok have over their children…? In every generation our fathers were tested with the nisayon of children who didn’t go in the ways of Hashem, but in our generation that nisayon is 70 times more, because in the homes of many Talmidei Chachomim and great ovdei Hashem, there are all types of children coming from their homes. Today it is very, very, very difficult to succeed in raising children properly. If someone does succeed at it today, it is not his own success, it is a gift from Heaven, and not everyone is zocheh to it. When Hashem told Yitzchok that his son Esav is undeserving of the blessings because “Your children sinned!” Yitzchok said back to Hashem, “They are only my children? Are they not Your children?”
It is upon us to feel that our children are not only our children, but Hashem’s children. We must ask our main Father to take pity on His children in general, and on our particular child specifically. With that perspective one can feel that his child is not “My child” but Hashem’s child, who has been given to him as a pikadon (item to watch) for a certain amount of years on this world. A parent needs to examine if he is watching the pikadon that he has been given, and if there are any aspects in which he isn’t watching his pikadon carefully, he should try to take care of it. And mainly, a parent should give love and warmth to the child, and also teach the child about the subtle and refined truth of where the pure truth and real pleasure is found.
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