Question:
Due to previous negative experiences I had in which I felt abandoned by parents and others who were close to me, I keep having continuous fears of being abandoned. How can I remove these feelings from my heart?
Answer:
Whenever a person is emotionally dependent on another person, he can feel abandoned by that person. There is an external solution to this problem, which is by improving the relationship with one’s parents, and then you can feel that even though you felt abandoned by them you can still feel that they were with you all along, and that they didn’t leave you in how they felt about you. Even though they did actions of abandoning you, by dwelling on your emotional closeness with them and how they are emotionally close to you as well, like this you can feel that they didn’t abandon you in the emotional sense – because you have strengthened the emotional connection to them.
However, there is also a more inner solution to this. (1) Strengthen your own inward connection that you have with your self. To the extent that you do that, you will be less emotionally dependent on others. (2) Strengthen your connection with HaKadosh Baruch Hu: “For He will not abandon His nation”, and then a person can feel how “I have never seen a righteous one who was abandoned [by Hashem.”
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