QUESTION:
1) What does it mean that everyone goes through aliyos and yeridos, ups and downs in their ruchniyus? What type of yeridah are Chazal referring to? [What type of yeridos are normal and to be expected?]
ANSWER:
For some people, a yeridah means that they fell into doing an aveirah. For others, it means that they fell in their level of kedushah. For others, it can mean that they fell into doing something that wasn’t [the most] appropriate [for them to do]. For others, a yeridah can mean that their feelings or thoughts for ruchniyus are being blocked from them.
QUESTION
2) For how long can a yeridah last?
ANSWER
There are no set rules for this.
QUESTION
3) Can a person be punished with middas hadin where the punishment or suffering is not for his own good, where it’s not for the purpose of a “yeridah for the necessity of aliyah”?
ANSWER
Even when a person undergoes middas hadin, deep down it will always be a yeridah for the purpose of aliyah.
QUESTION
4) For a long time I’ve been in a yeridah. I simply haven’t been growing or getting further. I am missing siyata d’shmaya. For example, even the fact that I’m writing this to the Rav shows that I’m in a yeridah because really a person is supposed to have a Rav that he speaks to face-to-face, and I have davened a long time to Hashem that I should get a Rav, but nothing has happened yet. I used to learn until very late at night, I had chavrusos, and I would learn both iyun and bekiyus and also Mishnah Berurah. I had aspirations to become a Gadol and I wanted to fix my middos and to reach true shleimus. But I have gotten to a point where I floundering, and it looks like I have to start over everything again, as simple as that sounds – both in my learning and in my avodas Hashem. I davened to Hashem so much and I don’t understand why Hashem brought me into this situation. I never dreamed that Hashem would deal with me this way. It’s true that every person has yeridos, but I feel like Hashem is crushing me into pieces, on every level. I’ve said enough. How can I start over again anew? I have to do what I can. I have even fasted several times, because I just don’t know what to do in order to get siyata d’shmaya. I have thought so much about what I can do to fix myself, and where I went wrong, but I am at a loss of understanding how all of this could happen to me and why it had to be this way. So – what is there that I can do?
ANSWER
It seems from all that you have said here that you were exerting yourself in avodas Hashem and in your Torah learning in a way that wasn’t according to your personal cheilek (portion). You need to figure out what your personal cheilek is.
QUESTION
Why is it that there are people who seem to be having so much siyata d’shmaya in their life, while others don’t? Of course everyone has challenges and everyone has to work hard in order to get anywhere, but I can see how other people simply have more help from Shomayim in all areas, especially when they begin to grow and improve.
ANSWER
It all depends on the different shoresh haneshamah (soul root) that others have, and another factor is [what they need to fix and achieve now] based on their previous gilgul (lifetime).
QUESTION
2) For how long can a yeridah last?
ANSWER
There are no set rules for this.
QUESTION
3) Can a person be punished with middas hadin where the punishment or suffering is not for his own good, where it’s not for the purpose of a “yeridah for the necessity of aliyah”?
ANSWER
Even when a person undergoes middas hadin, deep down it will always be a yeridah for the purpose of aliyah.
QUESTION
4) For a long time I’ve been in a yeridah. I simply haven’t been growing or getting further. I am missing siyata d’shmaya. For example, even the fact that I’m writing this to the Rav shows that I’m in a yeridah because really a person is supposed to have a Rav that he speaks to face-to-face, and I have davened a long time to Hashem that I should get a Rav, but nothing has happened yet. I used to learn until very late at night, I had chavrusos, and I would learn both iyun and bekiyus and also Mishnah Berurah. I had aspirations to become a Gadol and I wanted to fix my middos and to reach true shleimus. But I have gotten to a point where I floundering, and it looks like I have to start over everything again, as simple as that sounds – both in my learning and in my avodas Hashem. I davened to Hashem so much and I don’t understand why Hashem brought me into this situation. I never dreamed that Hashem would deal with me this way. It’s true that every person has yeridos, but I feel like Hashem is crushing me into pieces, on every level. I’ve said enough. How can I start over again anew? I have to do what I can. I have even fasted several times, because I just don’t know what to do in order to get siyata d’shmaya. I have thought so much about what I can do to fix myself, and where I went wrong, but I am at a loss of understanding how all of this could happen to me and why it had to be this way. So – what is there that I can do?
ANSWER
It seems from all that you have said here that you were exerting yourself in avodas Hashem and in your Torah learning in a way that wasn’t according to your personal cheilek (portion). You need to figure out what your personal cheilek is.
QUESTION
Why is it that there are people who seem to be having so much siyata d’shmaya in their life, while others don’t? Of course everyone has challenges and everyone has to work hard in order to get anywhere, but I can see how other people simply have more help from Shomayim in all areas, especially when they begin to grow and improve.
ANSWER
It all depends on the different shoresh haneshamah (soul root) that others have, and another factor is [what they need to fix and achieve now] based on their previous gilgul (lifetime).
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